I'm calling this day four because it's my day four of Yule (B)logging, but the truth is that I failed miserably on Friday. My sincerest apologies.
When babies and small children are about to hit a growth spurt or hit a developmental milestone they are often fussy or unsettled as well as sleepier than usual, as they are channelling all their energy to that physical or mental growth. I'm in the middle of completely overhauling my relationship with food, including trying to break bad habits I've been clutching onto for dear life for 30+ years, and I feel like an infant about to roll over. I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I just want to lie in bed all the time with my heating pad and KenKen games. These changes are taking a great deal out of me physically, as my body adapts to more veggies and healthy fats and protein and less sugar and dairy and empty carbs. But more than that, my brain is just processing all these changes, constantly having to make judgment calls to decide if I'm hungry or bored, or if I really want that (insert delicious sugary treat here).
I've been more successful in this endeavour thus far than I've been in any other eat adjustment in my entire life. Gone are the morning chai lattes. Gone are the afternoon hot chocolates. Gone are the boxes of Smarties. I'm working on keeping my blood sugar at an even keel, which means eating balanced meals and snacks regularly, with as little added sugar as I can manage.
But it's so hard. So so hard. And even though I'm probably eating on plan 70-100% of the day, that 30% off tends to be spectacular and...not worth it. Trying not to let those moments I go off plan be the impetus for the beginning of a "fuck it" cycle is a challenge. I'm trying very hard too not to be a person who talks constantly about her diet, because I think that can alienate people if you're not careful, but it's such a big part of my life right now. And have to tried cutting back on sugar at Christmas? Have you?
I'm trying though. I'm working hard. I'm taking every day as it comes and just trying to make the best decisions I can make. And if that means the occasional Subway cookie? So be it. Just don't tell my nutritionist...